


Into My World

by jungKookiEs_and_taEtaE



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Childhood, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Jealousy, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Promises, Requited Love, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2020-08-13 09:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20172280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungKookiEs_and_taEtaE/pseuds/jungKookiEs_and_taEtaE
Summary: Just because your parents are friends doesn't mean you have to be friends with their kids...Until you are.Or alternatively, five-year-old Sehun moves in across the street and meets ten-year-old Junmyeon;"You're not old enough.""You wouldn't understand.""You don't know what love is."





	1. too young.

**Author's Note:**

> cause slice of life is amazing and add seho to the mix :)

> ** _"Do you want to play with me?"_ **
> 
> * * *

Sehun clutched the stuffed bunny to his chest tightly, watching as the older kids in the neighborhood were playing basketball, with the hoop that was located two houses down. He was sitting down on the doorsteps a couple of meters away, fidgetting in his seat as was discovering it was getting harder and harder to stay still. His Mother had put his older brother _Baekhyun_ in charge while she made her Saturday errands, which led them here; Baekhyun with two other kids and _him_ being left out, despite numerous attempts of joining in... Even if it would only be for a few moments, it would still be better than nothing, Sehun was _five_ for crying out loud, he needs attention to thrive.

"Hyung?" Sehun's voice was soft, the younger having gotten up from his spot at the stairs to his older brother, who just so happened to be getting ready to take the next shot until the slight tugging from the hem of his shirt stopped him from doing so, looking down and seeing his little brother.

"What?" 

"Can I play?" Baekhyun's eyes softened at the sight, puppy eyes from the younger were a rare sight, always happening subconsciously; never aware.

"We're not exactly playing soft," Baekhyun sighed, finding it hard to decline the younger's request, "Give us a few more minutes, then you can."

Sehun's hopefulness left his eyes, the dark orbs becoming dull but are replaced with a pout forming on his lips, "...But, you said that an hour ago."

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Sehun, you're not old enough for me to-" The elder was interrupted by Sehun, _"You play rough with me all the time!" _Stopping his small foot in aggravation, the comment his brother was going to say had hurt more than he was letting on.

"I have an idea of what your tolerance is," pointing towards the three older kids near Bakehyun's age, "_they _don't."

Sehun looked at the ground dejectedly, willing himself to not cry in front of his brother and the neighborhood kids, which would only prove his brother's point further, "okay..." Walking back to the stairs, sitting down and watching the game pick up from where it was left off before he had interrupted.

A small frown was permanent on the younger's face, shifting his gaze from the game the older kids were playing to the ground. It's not like he could go home, his Mother's car was not in the driveway to their house yet. A slow gradual burn in his eyes signified that tears would soon be rolling down his face, but nothing he couldn't handle if the trip to the emergency room for busting his head open on the kitchen counter was anything to go by.

Looking back at the game, he no longer sees four kids but three. One of them was missing, _he must've gone back inside_...

Confirming his thoughts when the door behind Sehun opened, small footsteps stopped where he was seated and sat down next to him, "He just doesn't want you to get hurt."

Sehun looked to his left... Or was it his right? He didn't remember, locking eyes with the boy whose name he had forgotten. The elder was holding an icepack over one half of his face, the sweat and dirt on his clothes and skin could be smelt from a mile away if you tried hard enough, _"like that?" _Sehun's voice wavered.

Chuckling, the elder nodded, "Just like this." Not removing the icepack but switching hands to offer the younger his fist to bump, _"I'm Junmyeon."_

Sehun not realizing what is being present to him shakes the awaiting fist, _"...Sehun."_

"Hyung! C'mon," Baekhyun motioned, "Kyungsoo needs his partner."

Junmyeon was just about to join again, but the ten-year-old took one glance at Sehun before shaking his head, "I'm good." Shrugging, the three kids continued their game without teams, knowing the elder had been hurt.

Junmyeon stood up, brushing the dirt clinging to his legs before holding his hand out to the younger.

"Huh?" Sehun's eyes widened at the action, staring at the awaiting hand in confusion before shifting his gaze to the elder.

_"Do you want to play with me?" _

"...I thought I wasn't old enough?"

Junmyeon's eyes softened more if even possible, he crouched down to the younger's height making himself shorter so he could look up at Sehun, "You're not old enough for _Mario Kart?_" Smiling as the eyes of the younger brightened at the title of the videogame.

The brightest smile played on the younger's lips, showing his missing front teeth, "really?"

"Go tell your brother," Junmyeon motions with his head, helping the younger from the steps before opening the front door and waiting at the entrance, watching the smaller running to Baekhyun, bouncing on the heels of his feet with excitement, his lips moving a mile a minute. With a single nod from the elder and a thankful look from Baekhyun, Sehun ran up the steps.

For the next few hours, Junmyeon and Sehun played games varying from Mario Kart to Overwatch. Well, Sehun was only able to play half an hour, until Baekhyun and the two other neighborhood kids; _Jongdae and Jongin_ entered the house. Basically stealing the controller from his chubby hands with such a nonchalant manner it was almost natural. Sehun didn't even realize he wasn't playing until the space on the couch was filled, making him sit on the floor from the cramped space.

"Is it my turn?" His voice was barely heard from the explosions from the television and the yelling of the older kids.

"Hunnie, you suck at this game," Baekhyun spoke, trying to lend a hand to Jongdae who seemed to be struggling.

"But... it's fun."

Moments go by, his comment being ignored. Sighing softly, he got up from the floor and walked to the kitchen which had a clear view of the living room because of the open floor plan. Sitting down at the table, he started tracing his finger on the glass table, smudging it with fingerprints.

"Having fun?" The familiar voice chuckled, even more so when he received a half-assed glare.

"It's not fair..." The younger refused to meet Junmyeon's eyes, still tracing his finger on the glass.

He heard footsteps walk away from him. _Great, he even managed to shoo off the only person who was willing to give him any attention! _But, that thought was put to rest when the same footsteps were heard, walking back in his direction.

Looking up, Sehun locks eyes with the can Junmyeon has grasped in his hands. He furrows his brows in confusion, watching the elder shake it and press the nozzle watching a blue gel fly out of the opening, a rather large amount. Tilting his head, the elder rubs it around on the surface of the table and watching it turn white.

"What-"

"Shaving cream." The elder smiled, drawing designs with his finger. Fascinated, Sehun mimics the actions finding himself at peace, not caring about his surroundings. The videogames long forgotten, he giggles in excitement.

"...Why are you playing with me?" Sehun asks, his bottom lip jutting out slightly, concentrated on his drawing of his family.

"You're old enough."

_"Sehunnie, Mommy's home." _


	2. clueless.

> ** _"We broke up."_ **
> 
> * * *

Ever since that night, Junmyeon had taken Sehun under his wing, making sure the younger felt included. Opting out to play three-on-three basketball to sit in the driveway and recreate the Sesame Street cast with chalk on the concrete. Immediately giving his game controller to Sehun when the one the younger would be holding was taken from him. Dropping his difficult algebraic equations to help the younger with his multiplication tables.

One time he even exited the four-way call between Baekhyun, Jongin, Kyungsoo and himself when Sehun had entered, it was fine until Jongin began speaking **_"tits and dicks"_** which had caused Baekhyun's uproar because **_"my fucking baby brother!"_** Speaking up, _"Hunnie, answer my call." _Successfully getting Sehun out of a kinky conversation an eight-year-old is not ready to process. 

However, one-afternoon Junmyeon had brought home a girl he happened to be seeing for nearly five months. Sehun was twelve, he was skeptical at first because _you better be worthy of Junmyeon to have him._ But, those thoughts seemed to fade when he saw the look in the elder's eyes whenever he looked at her. She made sure Sehun was included in half of the activities she did with Junmyeon. He slowly found out her name was Yoona, a year below Junmyeon so she had a small taste in the _"Too Young" _concept that was always thrown in Sehun's face.

Yoona's kindness was not a facade. She made sure Junmyeon took priority in him first, which in the beginning seemed nice. But, as time grew on they were eight months into the relationship and she continued making Sehun the priority for Junmyeon. It was becoming too much for the younger, he simply wanted to be left alone. The smallest triggers made Yoona freak, wanting Junmyeon to fix the problem even if it didn't need to be fixed in the first place.

Sehun came to realize that she was just as bad as the elder kids in the neighborhood, indirectly. At least the neighborhood kids -now teenagers- expressed openly he wasn't of age to participate. Yoona was the opposite, she made him feel incapable of solving situations on his own. He felt belittled in a way, but it's not like he could control her actions...

"I can tell Junmyeon to speak with your Math Teacher-"

_He can speak to his elders by himself! _"I already spoke with him about extra credit." Massaging his temple, slowly gaining a migraine from the girl who seemed too invested in his own life than the relationship with his Hyung.

"I'm sure you did," She rolled her eyes, not believing his words because he's still a _kid_ and kids say they did certain tasks when in truth, they did not. 

Baekhyun could see the deep breaths his younger brother was taking, watching his lips mouth _"1. 2. 3." _in order to keep from yelling at the girl who was indirectly calling Sehun stupid for receiving a 72 on his pre-algebra test, "Yoona, I think you should wait for Junmyeon at his house." Baekhyun spoke quickly.

"I'm just saying, Sehun has room to improve."

"He _has _improved," Baekhyun hissed, "Either way it's not your business, neither is it Junmyeon's unless Sehun wants it to be."

"How do you suppose he's going to pass?" She snapped, her eyes that once held concern was now dull, void of emotion.

"In our house, you're passing as long as you don't bring home an _F._" Baekhyun opened the front door and gestures with his free hand, "Gladly get the fuck out of my house."

"Excuse me?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry." The elder clears his throat, "_Please_ get the fuck out of my house." Junmyeon chose this time to walk into the household, watching his girlfriend getting up from the couch, walking out of the house as she grasps Junmyeon's sleeve to pull him along with her, "What Happened?" His voice becomes faded as he's being dragged farther from the house.

Baekhyun slams the door, the force shakes the hinges it is attached to and the anger slowly subsiding as he turned to Sehun, "Hunnie?"

"...Am I stupid?"

Baekhyun wraps his arms around the younger, who clings to him but manages to hold his tears because _he's twelve now, big boys don't cry, _"No. No, you're the smartest person I know."

Later that week, Sehun walks downstairs and set eyes on Baekhyun holding Junmyeon in his arms as the elder cries into his brother's shoulder. He makes eye contact with Baekhyun giving a questioning gaze, the elder shakes his finger and mouthes _"Later." _Nodding in understanding, Sehun leaves the scene and waits.

Waits.

And waits...

"Why can't you tell me?" Sehun asks, his patience on the matter was wearing thin. Baekhyun had told him later, it's already _later_ \- two weeks later. Junmyeon acts the same as he usually did, but if you took the time to look into his eyes... His eyes were not the same, they weren't happy anymore. They were a more intense look of sad.

"Sehun, you wouldn't understand." Jongdae, Baekhyun's chosen best friend, why? He couldn't give you an answer. But, Sehun liked him because, despite his actions, the latter spoke to him as someone their age. Always teaching him new curse words behind Baekhyun's back, new insults. 

Sehun sighed in aggravation, of course. _Of Course! _"What can't I understand?"

"People your age are focused on school. We're focused on... _other things,_" Baekhyun added, trying to get his younger brother to understand the situation without directly telling him any information.

"People _my_ age? Last time I checked you're only four years older than me." Sehun left the room, bumping into Junmyeon who was entering Kyungsoo's room where everyone was gathered, "Hunnie?" But, the younger ignored the call of his name and left Kyungsoo's house in favor of going back to his own. 

As he entered his house, Baekhyun's Mother sends Sehun a questioning gaze, "Sehunnie, why are you back so early?"

"Ask your other son." He wiped his stinging eyes with his sleeve, walking upstairs to his room as he gave a brief bow to his own Father and ignoring any other questions directed his way.

Sitting on the floor near the bay-window he pulled his knees up to his chest, finding it hard to stay strong. Just as their ages seemed to level out, the others push him to the side yet again but not with _games,_ with information on his possibly one-sided best friend. But, not even two minutes alone with his thoughts the door opens to reveal Junmyeon who seemed slightly out of breath. He had probably chased after Sehun, actually not _probably_ he _did._

The elder plops down right beside Sehun on the ground, "Why did you run off?"

"...I wouldn't understand."

_"We broke up." _Junmyeon's voice was soft, trying to not waver from the way he spoke.

"Huh?" Sehun was shocked, they seemed so well together. Despite it being cliche, he assumed they would've lasted another year.

"She belittled you, she's not worth my time," He ruffled the younger's hair, chuckling as Sehun began pouting as he did so, "Except it doesn't mean I'm not heartbroken."

"Don't be heartbroken."

"Believe me, there will be a lot more. You'll even experience them as well."

Sehun looked lost in thought until he let his thoughts slip past his lips, "When I'm eighteen we won't have to anymore because I will treat you better!" Instead of getting immediately rejected, even laughed at by the elder, he looked at Junmyeon for the first time tonight. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, his face was tear-stained but the bright smile reached his eyes, "Oh really?"

Nodding as a response, Sehun smiled back and doesn't know the meaning behind the words he spoke, but what he knows right in this very moment is that Junmyeon looks _really pretty._

"I'm trusting you understand what that means." He playfully shoved the younger, seeing the brightness in his eyes as that phrase left his mouth.

Despite actually not knowing, the fact that Junmyeon believed him...

it was enough.


	3. naive.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Will we still be friends?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m soooo sorry for the long wait :(

_ **"Will we still be friends?"** _

It was the summer before Sehun was registered to attend high school, everything seemed to be normal... Well, as normal as it could be considering the rumors spreading throughout the neighborhood, the subject: Byun Baekhyun. His brother didn't seem to receive the the second half of his language credit and three core courses, meaning he wouldn't be graduating. Needless to say, news spread.

"Biochemistry was genuinely my fault, I spent the entire year trying to drop it and refused to pay attention." Baekhyun sighed, his breath wavering as he willed hisself to not cry in front of his parents.

Sehun was seated at the table in the dining room, a clear view into the living room where his family were discussing alternatives and concerns regarding Baekhyun's retention. Sure, he felt sorry for his brother but, at least he wouldn't be alone entering high school! Jongdae and Kyungsoo will be graduating on time, Jongin goes to a private school, and Junmyeonnie graduated the previous year.

Back when Junmyeon graduated, he was third in his class and even got accepted into Seoul! He didn't end up attending which caused great disappointment from his parents, even amongst his friends -Baekhyun included. It seemed that Sehun was the only one he had confided in, it was his parents dream... He wanted to work. He didn't want to leave; at least not yet.

It always confused Sehun, why choose to stay? Everyone seemed to want out, hell even him. But, the older he got, the slower time seemed to pass.

"No, I'm not nervous about starting high school..." Sehun picks up his fork and knife.

"I plan on taking the advanced literature and math courses..." he cuts the beef on his plate into smaller pieces.

"I might take Italian as my foreign language, since Chinese was filled..." Sehun spoke quietly to himself, bringing the food into his mouth and chews slowly.

Maybe he's being petty or maybe he's being selfish, but the hell cares? He once again, pushed aside because he can't relate. It had been Baekhyun's fault, he should've seen it coming when he would skip classes to attend classes that _were not_ ones he was taking to be with his current boyfriend Chanyeol who was enrolled in _another_ school.

So, he could tell you the entire human anatomy but if you asked him about plants? Good luck with that.

Finishing his meal, Sehun rinses his plate off and places it in the sink before sparing another glance at his family who seemed to have gotten louder. The shock was dissolving and anger was making an appearance.

Sehun walked out the front door unnoticed, walking the familiar sixty feet to the house across the street. Not bothering to knock on the door because who does that?

He let himself in and greeted the family who welcomed him warmly, telling him that the person he was seeking after was in their room upstairs.

Walking upstairs, Sehun let himself into the room and saw his Junmyeonnie hunched over the computer, reading emails; probably from work.

Not startled, not even bothering to avert his eyes from the screen, Junmyeon held his arms open for the younger. Which Sehun gladly took, unashamedly need he add; sitting in his best friend's lap trying to

"Calm down, you're tense."

Sehun huffed out in aggravation, "When is it going to stop?"

Junmyeon runs his fingers through the younger's hair, scratching his scalp to calm him while his other hand is typing on the keyboard, responding to an important email, "It never really does."

"It's literally my life, and I'm not the main lead."

"Maybe not in _your_ life," Junmyeon removed the hand in Sehun's hair to continue typing, "But in someone else's, probably."

Breathing hard out of his nose, disagreeing with the elder but deciding against arguing with him... He was on the debate team for three years, he didn't stand a chance.

"High school's better than junior high."

Sehun didn't reply, causing Junmyeon to stop his concentration and just like he's always done, he drops everything to aid Sehun, "Hey, look at me."

Sehun leans back, looking down at his Junmyeonnie seeing the concern in his hyung's features.

"Trust me, you'll be just fine."

"But–"

"You have Baekhyun to show you around, but that doesn't mean you have to share the people you hang out with." Junmyeon said, determined to ease Sehun's insecurities.

"I've had to do that my whole life..." Sehun mutters under his breath, looking at the walls in Junmyeon's room.

Sehun knew that was unfair, Junmyeon always chose him over Baekhyun, every single time. Except the times Sehun was in the wrong, but during those moments the elder would make Sehun open his eyes as to why he didn't side with him.

"I know." Junmyeon responds, not taking the statement to heart, "but high school's different, you either become who you want to be or... what you told yourself you'd never be."

Sehun had questions, but his mind was focused on how much Junmyeon has grown; he was no longer the ten year old who played with him when no one else would. He was nineteen, fixing to be twenty and wouldn't be living in the cul-de-sac forever because despite what has been said previously, people need to move on.

_"Will we still be friends?"_ Sehun looks away again, knowing one look at Junmyeon and he'd start to cry from the stress of the unknown.

"I'd hope so, but I can't see foresee for shit."

Sehun nodded, not satisfied with the answer but knows that's as good as it's going to get. Pouting further, he slides off the elder's lap, "thanks."

"You always know where to find me," he looked to the younger, smiling for the first time since Sehun's arrived.

Smiling, the younger left the house and to his own. Upon entering, Baekhyun was sitting quietly with tears rolling down his face as their parents were no longer yelling, but showing their disappointment... Which if you ask him, is so much worse.

Sehun closes the door, cause three heads to turn to him briefly;

"Next time tell me when you're going to the Kim's, I'll make sure to bake cookies." His mother says sweetly, the smile not reaching her eyes.

Nodding, Sehun walks upstairs as the conversation continues and for once that night, the younger felt relief.

He always knew where to find Junmyeonnie, and that thought comforted him. But, he knew better but refused to feed the reality of it, relishing in the now.

No.

He won't always know where to find his Junmyeonnie, everyone grows up and leaves eventually. He's going to leave Sehun one day, and he'll deal with that once the day comes.

But, for now, he knows and is content with that.

For now,

He'll be naive.


	4. clingy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed; there’s a difference.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback is always welcome! <3  
I love y’all

_ **“I’m not mad, I’m disappointed; there’s a difference.”** _

Sehun, now sixteen, walking home midday from school when he's supposed to be in his fourth period. Turning onto his street he frowned, the overbearing silence sliced through the air. No longer were there children running from house to house, nor was there chalk covering the cement in cartoons and bold lettering, not even sitting on the porch enjoying the popsicles on a rather hot day.

No.

Jongdae checks up on him and Baekhyun every Saturday, he's currently in his sophomore year at college in the states. He talks an awful lot to Sehun about his senior, his name may or may not be _Minseok_.

Kyungsoo always did talk about leaving Busan, he knew out of the six of them, he'd be the one to accomplish that goal. Last Sehun's heard, he was working as a server while attending culinary school.

Jongin graduated the previous year, he doesn't keep in touch. But, according to social media he's -believe it or not- attending Seoul Uni.

His brother is still dating Chanyeol, attends online courses through a community college and still living at home, while working part-time.

Everyone seemed to be moving on, including Sehun. All except Junmyeon; being the most successful out of the grown children, currently a book editor –freelancer to be specific. Without having gone to college, which had been a shock to everyone willing to listen.

Junmyeon still lived in the house across the street with his parents.

Looking at the house _his_... what was he? It's not like they play anymore. It's not like they hang out nearly as much as they used to. It's not like they talk 24/7 on the outdated landline.

But, they still caught up with one another when available. They still leave their doors unlocked for one another. They still comfort one another.

Hardly even friends, but not strangers.

Turning his head, he walked into his own. No one was home, except Baekhyun who was passed out on the couch with his homework sprawled around him with his laptop placed on the coffee table. Smiling at the sight, he walked passed his brother and up the stairs to his room.

He's changed so much. The height sprouted on him out of nowhere, everyone in the neighborhood got to witness this physical change before leaving. His voice deepened and cracks every now and then, which his friends make fun of every chance they get. He will wake up with pimples but it doesn't affect him because concealer exists for a reason. But, despite these physical changes... his attitude changed the most.

He makes no attempt in school, his highest grade being a 72 in literature. He ignores people that hold power over him when it feels unjust, which gets him into trouble. Talks back. Hangs with the wrong group of people, the definition of "hoodlums" as his mom would call them.

Speaking of them, he gathered his belongings: extra pair of clothes, toothbrush, backpack. Before turning his light off, climbing out the window of his room and jumps the fence into the front yard, running to the car parked in front of his house and getting into the passenger seat. The driver was his best buddy from school, the first person to befriend him his first year, Taesoo.

He's been arrested a few times, out of all his friends, Sehun's parents disapprove of Taesoo the most. Always telling Sehun how one day, he's going to be in the wrong place at the wrong time with him, and he's going to suffer the consequences.

It was almost midnight, Sehun's phone had been filled with numerous calls from his parents and Baekhyun; nothing new. But, what stood out were the twelve from Jongdae, whatever. One from Jongin? How did he even get Sehun's number, firstly. And, fifteen from... Junmyeon–

"Turn that shit off, it's not like you're dead." Taesoo rolls his eyes, passing his girlfriend a cigarette who took a puff, before handing it back.

Nodding but not listening, Sehun pocketed the phone and attempted to relax against the hood of the car. Only finding the atmosphere more tense than usual, which seemed rather odd. He usually found refuge with this group, but... it's not _his_. Definitely not. Not even close.

"So, I found the perfect place." Taesoo started, bringing Sehun back to reality, "the couple that lives there is out of town for the next two days, they have OxyContin."

Sehun froze, "I thought you quit."

Taesoo smirked, shrugging his shoulders as he replied, "I can at anytime."

He wasn't so sure about that, but went along with the plan anyway. It's not like they would get caught, Taesoo has the spare key because he used housesit for the couple on occasion before they found someone else once they found cigarette buds in their backyard.

So, here he was with Taesoo and three others within this group who he hasn't bothered to remember the names of, sue him. In front of an elderly couple's house, trying to break in without forced entry. He notices one of them has a crowbar, probably to pry the door open if the key fails. Sehun's standing a good four to five feet behind the group, pulse raising because he shouldn't be here dammit! He should be in bed studying for the exam he has tomorrow, the one he just might end up skipping if Taesoo told him too.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" A familiar voice yelled, followed by the sound of a slamming door.

Turning his head towards the commotion, he locks eyes with none other than Junmyeon.

"I–"

"It's none of your business." Taesoo interrupts, stepping towards Junmyeon unafraid.

"It is my business," Junmyeon looked to Sehun and said, "you're not going in there–"

"You can't make his decisions, just because no one wanted to befriend your sorry ass except Sehun doesn't mean you can cling to him forever," Taesoo snapped getting into Junmyeon's face, "kind of pathetic don't you think?"

Junmyeon raised an eyebrow, turning to look at Sehun before responding, "yeah... pathetic." He answered, before turning to Taesoo once again "get the hell out of my face."

Taesoo swung his fist, ultimately punching Junmyeon in the face harshly. Still unaffected, the elder was calm and grabbed Taesoo by the throat, his grip snug but not tight, causing shock among the group not including Sehun, "do it again, I dare you." Warning behind his taunt.

Sehun saw the one with crowbar start towards Junmyeon, and he sprung into action; causing the guy to feel betrayed, smashing the bar into Sehun's face instead. Junmyeon pushes Taesoo back by his throat, walking over to Sehun who was holding his bleeding cheek, feeling no pain. Only wanting to leave this situation. Helping the younger up, he spoke harshly... for the first time, "get in the car."

He didn't have to cuss to make Sehun to rethink his actions and life decisions, listening to the elder he got in the passenger seat. Junmyeon gets in the passenger seat, driving off from the trouble that could've ended worse than originally planned.

"You didn't have to save me."

"I didn't do it for you, I did it for your family." Junmyeon responds, "if it was up to me, I would've left you to face the consequences."

He wasn't wrong. Sehun knew he would've because that's who he is; own up to what you did for you knew what you were getting into when you decided to do it.

The rest of the ride was silent, until Junmyeon pulled up into his own driveway parking the car.

"Go home. There's a ladder under your bedroom window, your room's locked, and your parents think you're with me." He took the keys out of the ignition, opening the door to leave.

Sehun grabbed Junmyeon's wrist, "Are you mad at me?"

Junmyeon looks to Sehun, _"I'm not mad, I'm disappointed; there's a difference."_

Sehun's heart broke, a lump began to form in his throat and if he opened his mouth a sob was definitely going to escape his lips. He had to focus on his breathing.

"I'm sorry.."

"I'm sorry too," Junmyeon gently took Sehun's grasp on his wrist off, "for believing what you said when you were twelve." He got out of the car, before closing it he spoke one last time, "lock the door when you decide to leave."

Sehun stared at Junmyeon's back as the elder disappeared into the house, the front door closing and the porch light turning off. Leaving Sehun with just the dim driveway light, which kept flickering and his thoughts.

Tears rolled down his face, he managed to finally do it. He, Oh Sehun had managed to hurt the person who has time and time again, made it their mission to lift him up and feel included when he was an outsider.

He screamed loudly and the tears weren't stopping, Sehun slammed his fist in the dash and kicked his feet. He yelled until his throat was hoarse and the tears stopped, but he body felt numb as he walked home. Using the ladder to climb up to his room, and into his bed where he looked out the window to see the porch light was back on again, and the curtains that were usually open...

Were now closed.

"_Junmyeonnie_," he whispered the nickname he hasn't used in years, in his thoughts and aloud because Taesoo has told him to stop for it was childish, "I'm sorry."


	5. persistent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Keep his name out your mouth.”

_ **"Keep his name out your mouth."** _

It has been about a week since the fallout, which was a hundred percent Sehun's fault and he takes full responsibility. His face was slowly healing, when asked he always answered he fell off his bike when a car bumped him from behind while we was with Junmyeon_nie_.

His parents hadn't grounded him, knowing they couldn't make him stay out for long before he was off with them. But, Sehun made an executive decision, he grounded himself. He would come down the stairs to eat his three meals of the day then back upstairs he went, leaving his bedroom door wide open and locking his phone in the desk drawer.

There he would lay on the bed, staring at the popcorn ceiling or reading the books Kyungsoo gave him before he up and left over night. Baekhyun was staring up at Sehun at the doorway of his room, "you good?"

"I'm fine."

Baekhyun reaches for the doorknob, but is abruptly stopped by a wail that almost sounded inhumane, looking at Sehun who had sat up in bed, "I'm grounded."

"Um... since when?"

"Since, I fucked up." Sehun threw his body back against his mattress, the guilt in his heart almost unbearable.

"I literally don't know what you're talking about and I know you won't tell me. But, I think you should know," Baekhyun walked into Sehun's room and sat at the foot of his bed, "you've been fucking up since freshman year."

Sehun's eyes began stinging, he didn't want the tears to fall because the long cut from his cheek and across the bridge of his nose isn't healed completely and he doesn't want it to burn. He frowned, "when you screw up, how do you get Chanyeol back?"

"And what makes you think I screw up?" Baekhyun gasps, feigning innocence.

"Have you _met_ our family, we're the prodigies if screwing up."

"This is about Junmyeon, isn't it?" Baekhyun asked, after silently agreeing to Sehun's previous statement, "Try to find yourself again, I think not having him around will open your eyes as to how much he does." He ran his fingers through Sehun's hair before he stood up and left their room.

Walking through the halls of school, he makes direct eye contact with Taesoo. Trying to walk past as if he hadn't seen, fails and he starts making his way towards Sehun.

"I found a new source."

"And I'm late for class."

"You're not going–"

Sehun stopped in his tracks, turning to look at him with a incredulous look in his eyes, "who are you to tell me what to do?"

"What? You're going to listen to that _freeloading_, grown ass man, rather than the person who's been there for you?" Taesoo said, his gang walking up behind him to back him up if things turned physical.

_"Keep his name out your mouth."_ Sehun snapped, "you don't know him."

"And I'm only repeating what you've said."

"I never said freeloading." Sehun fists started shaking, but he knew that he had to start somewhere in order to fix hisself, "I'm done with you."

Shrugging, the latter signaled for his friends to leave, "you'll be back."

No.

He won't be back. He will move forward. He will get his Junmyeonnie back, if he will allow it.

Turning onto his street, Sehun looked at Junmyeon’s house with a look of longing. The driveway was empty, no one was currently home which gave him the opportunity to walk up to the door. It felt foreign, he knew he was unwelcome here but, he relished in the familiarity. Grasping the knob, he turned his wrist but was met with resistance, just as he expected, locked. The Kim’s residence was _never_ locked, throughout all his life and even though he was expecting it; the reality of it all... hurt.

“I deserve it.” He turned around, slowly making his way back home. His backpack heavy from all the assignments he needs to catch up on, Sehun walks into the house and locks eyes with his whole family.

“Sweetheart, you’re home...” His mother starts, to say but trails off because she didn’t want him to take off, “Early.” His father finishes for her. The look of shock present on both of their faces, while Baekhyun smiles because Sehun took his advice for once.

Sehun nods, “I have homework.” He smiles at them for what seems like the first time in forever, walking up to his room and leaves his door wide open, welcoming anyone who wanted.

It’s been two hours and he’s staring at the second page of his Physics workbook, but refusing to give up because that’s what he’s been doing for far too long. The sound of a car door breaks his train of thought on kinetic energy, looking out his window seeing Junmyeon get out of his car, returning from work.

He smiles to himself knowing he got to catch a glimpse of his Junmyeonnie, but the brief eye contact they make shows the story of how it ended up like this. The moment Sehun waves slightly, Junmyeon turns his back and walks back into his house. Sehun watches, still waving his hand and once the front door closes he puts his hand down and puts his attention back on physics.

On the verge of giving up, Baekhyun’s voice stops him, “Regret skipping?”

Groaning in stress, which Baekhyun takes as an agreement to his statement, “here, I’ll help you.” Pulling up another chair to sit beside Sehun.

Weeks turned into months, it was nearing the end of the school year and Sehun had successfully caught up with his schoolwork and his rank increased forty percent!

He was currently working on an essay for his literature class, when he decided to take a small break to stretch his neck and shoulders from slouching over his desk. Looking out his window, like he normally did -slowly stopped hurting, knowing that if he focused on caring for himself first, he would learn how to for his Junmyeonnie.

He was shocked when he saw the curtains pulled back, giving Sehun a full view into Junmyeon’s room. It had been _four months_ and he knew this has to be progress of some sort.

But, instead of dwelling on it like he would’ve done in the past, it still wasn’t the right time. Despite how far he’s come, there’s still a ways to go and apparently Junmyeonnie just got enough strength to face him, even if it is sixty feet apart and through a window.

He looked back at his computer, smiling to himself at the little victories. Two thousand words past the minimum, the opened curtains, the crick in his neck fading...

He won’t give up, it’s not him anymore.

And he doesn’t know if he’s right or not, for he’s never been good at reading people. But, it seems Junmyeonnie hasn’t given up on him either.


	6. understanding.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He’s more than half the man you’ll ever be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :o suho enlisted, be safe bb!

_ **“He’s more than half the man you’ll ever be.”** _

Summer was ending quicker than expected, Sehun expecting to be entering junior year with a few needed credits already out of the way, having took those classes at a nearby community college over the break. His parents had slowly gained respect for him again, but he was far from getting that trust back having broken it so many times in the past.

Baekhyun still living with them and seemingly not interested in moving out, but a new person was added to the family residence. A semi-permanent edition; Chanyeol's lease on his apartment had ended and he couldn't find a place within the area, which ended up with him staying the night... it's been two months, but he's not useless for he helps around the house to show gratitude.

One late afternoon, Sehun found himself alone in the house: his mother having picked up the night shift, his father visiting his grandparents, Baekhyun and Chanyeol were currently visiting Jongdae in the states for the remainder of Sehun's summer.

After putting the last few dishes away, he walked to his room to continue writing his final essay for his Writing Composition course.

Not long after sitting down there was a knocking on the window, bringing him back to reality. Turning towards the window, his eyes widened at the sight of Taesoo entering his room.

"What the fuck?" Sehun stood up, his fists slowly starting to twitch.

"When are you going to end this facade?"

"There is no facade," he crosses his arms as the elder walks over to him, getting in his face in an attempt to look intimidating. But, it didn't scare Sehun, if anything it made him angrier.

"All for what? For some ass who leeches off his parents–"

Sehun turned his head, looking at Junmyeonnie's household and seeing him on the computer. The anger he felt... has had for a majority of his life, finally escaped past the walls he's tried so hard to build up. _His_ Junmyeonnie probably felt the eyes burning a hole right through him, looking up and meeting each other's gazes for a few moments before Sehun turned away, looking at Taesoo.

A few minutes go by, Sehun was trying to be as calm as possible.   
  


"Did you know he pays his parents $1200 a month; half of it for rent and the other for necessities," Sehun steps forward.

"Did you know he dropped everyone who he felt could've negatively impacted me?" He pushes the other harshly, causing him to stagger back.

"And I bet you didn't know," Sehun speaks slowly, as if Taesoo was slow in comprehension, _"he's more than half the man you'll ever be."_

As soon as those words left his mouth, Sehun's vision blurred and a wound was forming from Taesoo's rings. He lifted his head, but was met with the same fate, but the blows became rapid and more force behind each one. Sehun used one of his arms to block the attacks, but it seemed inevitable... He had it coming, the path he had chosen to go down before turning around and walking back was catching up to him.

"Get. Off." Sehun would un-tense with each hit in order to cause less trauma that was in his near future.

The weight on his body was no longer there, the sound of muffled words but the voice was as clear as day, Junmyeonnie. Vision clearing, Junmyeon was talking calmly, holding Taesoo by the arms with a deathly look in his eyes. The younger struggling against the grip, which only caused him to tighten.

"Go home." Junmyeonnie guided Taesoo who didn't seem to be fighting the action, "He's my best friend." Taesoo tried to get the last word in, pulling his arm from his grasp as they reached outside.

"Best friends don't put one another in danger."

"You obviously haven't had one then."

Junmyeonnie smiles, but it was far from friendly and not reaching his eyes, "I do."

Sehun laid on the floor, nose bleeding and the scar from the crowbar all those months ago had reopened. His eyes fixated on the closet, but footsteps caused him to turn his attention to the figure in the doorway, Junmyeonnie. He shut his eyes immediately, “no! I’m not ready.”

“Sehunnie, open your eyes.”

Tears welled within his eyes, slowly opening them and seeing his Junmyeonnie up close... But, yet again, he had saved him. He sat up, eyes not leaving Junmyeonnie’s because he was afraid the other would be gone again if he looked away.

“Are you okay?”

Sehun had a hand over his nose, head tilted back slightly, voice wavering slightly from being overwhelmed at the sound of his voice, “...can you get me a napkin?” His hand was dripping with fresh blood.

Nodding, Junmyeonnie left the vicinity briefly, leaving Sehun with his thoughts. Would there be a time when he would save Junmyeonnie? This proves he hasn’t grown since his last encounter with him. Maybe he wasn’t supposed to be his friend, and Sehun had been ignoring the signs for eleven years.

“Here.” The voice spoke softly, he held out the wet wash cloth. He didn’t look as uncomfortable as Sehun felt, knowing he fucked up his chances yet again. Just when he thought he was making progress, life pulled him back down.

“You can leave.” Sehun’s words had two meanings, you can go home or forever.

“I...”

“He talked about you.” Sehun looked at his floor, “I didn’t like it. What he said... so, I pushed him.” He laughed in defeat, “I started it.”

Junmyeonnie crouched down to the floor, putting his hand on the younger’s shoulder, “it’s not your fault.”

“But, I–“

“Sehun, It’s okay.”

“I don’t want to lose you.” Sehun’s voice cracked, the lump in his throat made it hard to breathe.

“Look at me.”

Sehun listened, staring at him and he studied his features. He hasn’t cut his hair in a while, there were small bags under his eyes from work, he looked drained, “you haven’t lost me. Do you understand?”

“Feels like it...” he sniffed but the blood went down his throat, the taste of copper filling his mouth.

Junmyeonnie was having an internal conflict, the look in eyes gave it away, but he decided to open his mouth.

“Why do _you_ think I’m still here, in the cul-de-sac?” This question didn’t require a response, but Sehun shrugged as a response.

He hummed as a response, “one day I’ll tell you.” He started walking to the window to climb out, which Sehun furrowed his eyebrows, “why the window?”

“The door means forever, a window is a promise.”

Sehun smiled, a familiar feeling of fluttering started in his stomach and worked its way up to his chest. The same time when he first thought Junmyeonnie was pretty, when he made a promise he had broken... But, he’s rebuilding it.

“Sehunnie...”

He looked towards the window with curious eyes, waiting for him to continue.

“I’m proud of you.”

With that he left, not mentioning he had heard Sehun stick up for him. How his front door has been unlocked since summer started. The way his heart has always belongs to Sehun, but it’s not the right time.

But, they have understanding...

It’s not the end. Not even close.


	7. oblivious.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why would he stay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s almost the end of this story :(

_ **“Why would he stay?”** _

  
  


Junmyeonnie has told Sehun's parents what had happened when they were away, making it known he hadn't invited the guest. Sehun had told a similar but different story, saying the altercation could've been avoided if he hadn't shoved Taesoo.

School had just barely started up again, which Sehun had been dreading because it meant the possibility of running into the person he had no intentions of being associated with again. Baekhyun and Chanyeol arrived back home, jet lagged as hell trying their hardest to get back on a regular schedule.

"Heard you didn't fight back." Chanyeol's tired voice made its way to Sehun's ears as he was applying medicine to the healing wounds on his face. Looking in the mirror and seeing Chanyeol in the doorway, "Yeah."

"Why not? He came here for a reason..."

"I was afraid."

Chanyeol shook his head, "I've seen you fight kids ten times more intimidating than that–"

Sehun interrupted, hissing at pain when he pressed too harshly on one of the cuts, "of losing someone."

Chanyeol seemed to understand, being the only person to know the whole story. He had that way about him, just like _his_ Junmyeonnie, you could ramble about anything and once you stop thinking you've talked to much... he asks you to continue or asks certain questions that prove he's been listening, it's no wonder why Baekhyun chose him.

"Your crush across the street?"

"He's not..." he trailed off, he didn't know what he was to be honest. There had been numerous times when he thought he liked Junmyeonnie, but that conclusion would be debunked days later.

"If he's not, why are you trying so hard?"

"He's my best friend."

Chanyeol smiled, leaning on the doorframe with a look on his face that says he knows something Sehun doesn't. He hates that look. He's gotten it his whole life!

"Now I know where Baekhyun gets his stupidity." Chanyeol makes to leave, while Sehun doesn't know why he stops him from doing so.

"You think I like him?"

"I can think what I want, but in the end you're the one who knows the answer." He shrugs, trying his best to not freak Sehun out with new information.

Sehun looked at the ground, "what if I don't know?"

Chanyeol put his hand on the younger's shoulder, who was trying to reflect on his past with his Junmyeonnie, "Relationships are complicated; if I still don't understand, there's no way for you to either."

Sehun sat on his bed, going through the memories he's had with Junmyeonnie. How he told Sehun his deepest secrets and insecurities. He had been too young to understand, but the elder had looked past that. Junmyeon..._nie_ has always been his, since he asked Sehun to play. _His_ having always been in front of _Junmyeonnie_ for as long as he can remember, the title having stuck with him throughout all these years.

"Next time you're at Junmyeon's, mom said to take the no-bake cookies." Baekhyun poked his head in, causing Sehun's quote-unquote sad hours as Jongin used to call it when they were growing up.

"What?" He was confused, what gave Baekhyun the impression that him and Junmyeonnie were on talking terms? "I haven't been to his since... you know."

Baekhyun tilted his head, almost a splitting image of a lost puppy, "you didn't know?" Finding it hard to believe that Sehun was in the dark about the most obvious thing.

"Know what?"

"His door's unlocked." About that time, Chanyeol called for the elder in a panic, having set off the smoke detector by using the toaster. Leaving the room without another word, Sehun turned his body towards the window as he stared at Junmyeonnie's house.

_"Why would he stay?"_ He was successful, could be working in the city while trying to manage his social life. Meet new people, not having to deal with Sehun's childish antics that leave him in more trouble than the last, as he attempts to be better. Maybe he feels obligated, maybe he feels the need to protect, after all he was the oldest child growing up in the cul-de-sac.

He found himself at the front door of Junmyeonnie's house, debating whether or not he should be here while holding the container of no-bake cookies.

No. There's no way, Baekhyun probably lied because he wanted him out of the house. But, what if the door _was_ unlocked, should he open it? Well, who's to say Junmyeonnie even wants to see him, uninvited. He should knock. What if he doesn't answer? Doorbell. Oh, right the doorbell's never worked...

He just stared at the door. Never has he tried to accommodate himself to Junmyeonnie's level of comfort, he always assumed he was welcome because well, they were best friends.

His phone vibrated in his jacket, reaching for it he saw a name flash across the screen. One he hasn't seen in a long time. Opening the message, he walked backwards in the doorway and saw Junmyeonnie looking at him with a confused expression, smiling down at him.

**_March 17, 2019_**0:37

I need time.

_**Today**_ 6:17

Just open the door.

Sehun waved at his Junmyeonnie and for the first time, the elder responded back almost as enthusiastic. Sehun reaches the door, opening it slowly to relish in the familiarity, the amount of emotions that had ran through his mind as he entered the house. The house was the same as it had been seven months ago, just slightly cleaner. The liveliness it once had was dull, but the minute Junmyeonnie’s parents locked eyes with Sehun, it returned.

Almost as if it never left in the first place. Like, life was put on pause while Sehun had stopped to grow and realize he worth of himself.

He handed the elderly woman the container of cookies, who brought him into a bone crushing hug. Last time he saw her, she had dyed red hair and now she had blonde. While, Junmyeonnie’s father gave him a pat on the back as a welcome back, we’ve been expecting you.

Upon entering Junmyeonnie’s room, he couldn’t control the way he threw his arms around his best friend. Who he now towered over, but still managed to curl himself up and cry into his shoulder. The emotions too much to bear alone, and Junmyeonnie let him.

“Welcome back.” Junmyeonnie rubbed his back in reassurance, that he’s here now.

But, the tears didn’t stop. He continued to hold onto his Junmyeonnie, his grip only tightening with the knowledge that this was real. The weight off his shoulders, the lump in his throat seemed to disappear as he sobbed louder.

He liked Junmyeonnie.

More than he probably should.


	8. committed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I just got you back and now you’re leaving.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

_ **“I just got you back and now you’re leaving.”** _

  
  


It was now May, Sehun had turned seventeen the previous month. His realization of his feelings towards Junmyeonnie didn't scare him, it honestly made sense though he'd never tell Chanyeol he had been right, that would boost his ego too much.

These past several months Sehun and Junmyeonnie has been catching up with one another. What they've missed and yet the transition seemed natural, rather than forced almost as if they hadn't stopped talking. Outsiders wouldn't have guessed it. But, these past few weeks, Junmyeonnie has been distant in his conversations even though he's sitting right beside Sehun.

"Okay, what's the deal?" Sehun broke the silence, sitting on the floor of Junmyeonnie's room watching him finish editing the chapter that he has to have complete by next week.

Turning to face the younger, Junmyeonnie acted as if he didn't know what he was talking about, "I don't have a deal?"

"You're distant. Is it something I did?" The hurt he felt, the fact Junmyeonnie didn't seem to trust him...

"No, it's–" he cut himself off, not knowing how to explain it without breaking both of their hearts, there was no easy way to put it. "I have to leave for a while; a _long_ while."

He paled at those words, all he had were questions upon questions, most of them ending in _why?!_

"My job is allowing me to meet with an author in Australia to confirm the publishing, while I start the editing process." He tried to avoid Sehun's gaze, if he looked at the younger in the eyes he would surely breakdown.

Sehun swallowed the hurt, knowing this was an opportunity of a lifetime considering there were more qualified candidates, but they trusted Junmyeonnie to do the job. "That's it?" He exasperated, "you had me worrying over a promotion?! Damn you."

"You're not... mad?"

"Junmyeonnie, I'm proud of you." It was the truth, but of course he was mad, not at Junmyeonnie in particular but at the timing. "When do you leave?"

"Two weeks."

Oh. Okay. Ouch, that hurt. "And how long will you be gone?"

"Four months."

Sehun blinked back the tears, he had to be strong for his Junmyeonnie. He was already distressed from keeping it a secret from Sehun for however long he has, he was vulnerable right now. The last thing he needed was an argument.

"My door is always unlocked." Sehun ran his hand through Junmyeonnie's hair, telling him that he would be waiting. Whether he interprets his statement as a friendship or romantically is all up to Junmyeonnie.

The d-date was approaching quickly and the more Sehun was _not okay._ Forget everything he thought, who cares if it's an opportunity, he's still selfish and needs his best friend! He didn't handle this very well, he decreased his visits with Junmyeonnie. Which is stupid, he's on a time limit you don't have to remind him.

"I know you're upset." Junmyeonnie sat outside of his window on the ledge, looking into Sehun's room.

"Of course not." He denies, not even convincing himself so he continues, "why would I be upset about an opportunity of a lifetime."

"For the record, I was the only employee with the credentials to travel." He said, trying to lighten the mood and slightly succeeding.

"I'm being selfish, I'm sorry."

"It's okay to be upset. I am too."

"No, it's not okay!" Sehun threw his arms around, trying to get his point across as his heart was sinking with each passing moment, "I've been selfish since I was five, I should be happy. Fucking ecstatic! But, I'm not..."

Junmyeonnie's smiles, "And that's perfectly fine, you can't control how you feel."

_"You're leaving and I just got you back."_

"I know..." he spoke softly, "I know."

The day before Junmyeonnie was scheduled to leave was filled with goodbyes, but he refused to see Sehun until the end. Knowing the younger wouldn't let him leave if he visited him first, so he saved him for last.

He has spent most of his life trying to be the best role model for Sehun because no one else would've. Baekhyun wouldn't include Sehun to please his friends. Jongdae didn't straighten up until he moved to the states. Kyungsoo refused to get closely attached to anyone, knowing he wouldn't be in Busan forever. Jongin, was well... _Jongin_. But, around the age of seventeen and Sehun still clung to him like a leech— lifeline. He knew the younger would be something to him one day, whether Sehun realizes it or not.

He walks into Sehun's room for the last time for a while, but he'd make sure it wasn't the last. The younger was sitting on the floor, arms around his knees with his back against the bay window. This looked familiar, like when Sehun made that promise when he was twelve.

**"**Don't be heartbroken.**"** Junmyeon sat beside Sehun in the same position, looking at the wall he's currently staring at, avoiding the elder's gaze.

**"**Believe me, there will be a lot more.**"** Sehun mumbled, repeating the exact words Junmyeon had told him five years ago.

"I'm coming back, you know that right?"

"I'd hope so..." Sehun said, blinking slowly and still avoiding the gaze of his best friend. Every now and then a tear will slip past his lashes.

Junmyeon didn't want to leave, he tried avoiding this certain promotion for a reason. He hated leaving everything behind, his family. Which is why he never understood how the kids he grew up with just up and left as if it was the easiest thing in the world... he _wish_ he had the ability to do that.

"I probably wasn't ever going to tell you this," Junmyeon took in a small breath, "I like you."

Sehun jerked his head towards him, millions of emotions flashing through his eyes.

"Don't respond. I can't know how you feel, not yet. You're still–" he cut hisself off, what he was about to say Sehun would hate. Always has. He had to choose his next words carefully, "_I'm_ not ready." He decided on, in truth he wasn't... he can't know how Sehun feels while he's going to a whole different continent the very next day.

In a way, Junmyeon was selfish too.

**"**When I'm eighteen...**"** Sehun recited three words, before changing the rest of the proclamation, "I'll tell you my answer." He felt numb, it was bittersweet.

"I'll be waiting." Junmyeon smiles, rubbing his hand through the younger's hair and bringing him into a hug that they both desperately needed. They needed comfort and reassurance, that no matter what was to happen... they'll always have each other.

Timing has to be right, not _just_ the right people.


	9. patient.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That could’ve been me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3

** _“That could’ve been me.”_ **

Two months have gone by since Junmyeonnie has been gone, leaving Sehun with only Baekhyun and Chanyeol to keep him company. They aren't very good at it if you ask him, but they try.

Sehun's summer consisted of sitting on the front porch watching the sunsets and sunrises, letting the sweat run down his face reminding him of when he was younger. He visited Junmyeonnie's parents every afternoon to keep them company and would stay for dinner and return home. But, every couple of days he would make his way upstairs to Junmyeonnie's room and video call the elder for approximately thirty minutes.

Just like right now.

"Your parents actually ordered pizza." Sehun had explained his day briefly, knowing he was on a time crunch. But, he wouldn't decline a call from the elder even if he was angry, knowing he wasn't always going to be available. He had been right.

"Years of asking for takeout and they do it when I'm not there." His Junmyeonnie acted hurt as he was eating his dinner; cheese ramen, celery sticks, and water. Probably all he could afford, having spent all his money on a decent hotel.

"I got a video, don't worry." Sehun smiled, staring at him with a look he could now identify as love.

"You sound like a tourist." He laughed at his own joke. Knowing he had sent well over a hundred photos and videos the first week of being in Adelaide, Australia.

"You're a tourist."

Junmyeonnie laughed while trying to slurp the most likely cold noodles, that's how he preferred it. Sehun missed him so much, it seemed like the world was moving on without him. Maybe if he had been born a couple of years sooner? If he hadn't of listened and told Junmyeonnie how he felt. He could always tell him, but he knew better. That much he did know.

"I can hear your thinking through the screen."

"I'm just... happy." He wasn't lying, for if he had been born sooner his dad wouldn't have been at that party and gotten his biological mother pregnant. His dad wouldn't have met the woman he calls mom. His parents wouldn't have bought the last house in the neighborhood they had been looking at for a year. He wouldn't have met Junmyeonnie.

"Speak for yourself, I'm homesick." Junmyeonnie sighed, looking at the clock for the nth time and deciding it was time to end so he could clock back in, "Call tomorrow?"

Sehun nodded, before waving goodbye as the screen went black. He stared at the ceiling, before falling asleep in the chair at Junmyeonnie's desk.

The next morning, he walked into his house to see his parents and his brother huddled together. That's weird, but it's not the strangest thing that's happened in this house. Closing the front door, the three looked towards him with relief in their eyes.

"What happened?" He asked as his mother brought him into a bone crushing hug, so tight that he could barely get his question out without wheezing.

Baekhyun rewound the television that he just realized was on and the channel was the daily news. He saw footage of a car crashing into a building the driver seeming to have lost control;

**"Seventeen year old, Park Taesoo, lost control of the wheel last night and was killed on impact. The Three other passengers that were in the vehicle, are in critical condition..."**

Sehun sat on the couch, replaying the words in his head. He stared at his ex-mate's school picture on the television screen, it turned out that the brakes got jammed from numerous witnesses and sources.

"I thought he would've OD'd." Sehun spoke, not knowing how to absorb this information. He can't say he's surprised, in all honesty he knew that Taesoo would find a way to get himself killed. He tried to bring Sehun down with him.

His father lightly hit him in the back of the head, "Show some respect."

"I didn't _know_ him." Sehun sighed, he felt bad for feeling numb because it was a small relief that Taesoo was not at rest. He knew his situation, he was going to end up killing himself, it's pleasant to know that what killed him was an _inevitable_ accident.

What he did observe from Taesoo was that he didn't live with regrets. If he wanted something, he fought for it. If he didn't, then he did not complain knowing he could've done something about it.

_"That could've been me."_

"But it wasn't."

Sehun wish he could say he was shocked, but he wasn't. That's what he feels bad about, knowing he should have amazing things to say about Park Taesoo, but he doesn't.

"If I was still associated with him, I would've been in that car."

Junmyeonnie stayed quiet, he knew Sehun needed to vent about not having a good reaction. So, he listened.

"He was awful." Sehun spoke, "He made me into something I wasn't. He acted like he was doing me a favor. He befriended me because he pitied me, when there was nothing to pity me for. He–" that's when Sehun realized he had been crying.

"He was too young." Sehun finished his sentence, looking away from the camera so that Junmyeonnie wouldn't see him crying.

"Can I say something?"

He hummed in response.

"Ignoring the bad things, you did see the good in him and learned from him."

"What good?"

"You learned to stand up for yourself. You learned not to rely on me to always be on your side," Junmyeon said, "We become the people we are today from every person we encounter."

Sehun looked back towards Junmyeonnie, seeing him through the screen makes him want to catch the next flight to Adelaide. But, obviously he wouldn’t. The thought was nice though, calming him down slightly.

“I never told him that I forgave him.”

“I think he knew; you not fighting back, said a lot more than words would have.”

Sehun was vulnerable right now, “he had told me to stop calling you Junmyeonnie. So, I did. He told me to skip classes. So, I did.” He told him not to call Junmyeonnie _his_ because he didn’t know the meaning behind that word. So, he did. But, the last part was left unsaid.

“I didn’t say he was perfect.”

“He taught me to fight for what I want...” Sehun said after a few moments of silence while Junmyeonnie waited for him to continue.

“And what do you want?”

Him. Sehun wants Junmyeonnie back home. He wants to hug him. He wants to be eighteen so he can give a direct answer. He wants to run his hand through Junmyeonnie’s hair when he’s stressed. He wants a lot of things.

He needed Junmyeonnie to know now, he didn’t know how long he could keep it _known_ secret between the two of them.

“I want...”

Junmyeonnie’s alarm had gone off, meaning he had to clock back in. He seemed to know what Sehun had been going to do. Of course he did. He probably knew Sehun more than he knew himself, and vice versa. The elder slowly closed his eyes, taking in a few deep breaths to control his heartbeat that seemed to not be slowing down.

“You should go.” Sehun mumbled, glad to have been saved literally by the bell.

“Yeah... Friday?” He asked, telling his next available slot, which would be in two days.

Agreeing, Sehun waved clicking the end button watching the screen turn into the background of the desktop; him and Junmyeonnie as children smiling at the camera with Jongin, Jongdae, Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun in the background arguing. When life seemed simpler, yet more complicated.

One day.

His phone buzzed and it was from nine other than Junmyeonnie...

_ **Today** _ _9:35_

I’m not ready

But soon :)

I was going to say beef

Just so you know

Chicken’s better

Just so you know

Yeah, one day he will be able to tell him.

Today is not that day.


	10. impulsive.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You grew up so much.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more after this u guys!! :’)

_ **“You grew up so much.”** _

Sehun's first day of senior year was coming up, the next day to be exact and he was looking forward to it. The closer he could get to graduation, the better. He was ready to start his own life with Junmyeonnie by his side, like it has always been. He'd probably be the only one happy about leaving high school, he was never close to anyone. Those closest to him were older.

So much has happened since Junmyeonnie left to Adelaide: His parents had a courthouse wedding, Chanyeol had to Sehun he was planning on proposing to Baekhyun, Kyungsoo had gotten social media.

He was supposed at the airport waiting alongside Junmyeonnie's parents, but he refused the offer. His parents deserved to see him first, the look of appreciation they gave him when he said he'd wait. It made him realize just how much he's grown, it finally hit; he wasn't five anymore. His childhood is gone, but it felt like just yesterday.

Not knowing a time without the woman he calls mom, but his dad knew that life all too well. Not knowing a time without Baekhyun, he was sure the feeling was mutual. Not knowing a time where he was old enough, still doesn't. Not knowing a time without his Junmyeonnie.

The elder sacrificed so much for him, such as a decent social life. He made sure that the people he would befriend were perfectly fine with Sehun tagging along, make sure he was included. Many had tried, very few had succeeded. The children in the neighborhood were apart of the ten people who passed that vibe check.

Sehun smiled, looking to the bunny on the top shelf of his dresser. The same one he had when he officially met Junmyeonnie. He remembered how the elder had asked him to play while holding an ice pack to his face. He stopped carrying his bunny around after that, _finally_ having a friend of his own.

He woke up to someone ruffling his hair gently and shaking him repeatedly. He opened his eyes to see Junmyeonnie smiling brightly at him, a black mask covering his mouth and nose with a green hoodie and joggers. He looked as if he had just woken up from the deepest slumber, slightly jet lagged but there was only about an hour difference.

"Why do you look taller, not fair." Junmyeonnie sighed, sitting down on Sehun's desk chair.

"You look older." Sehun stuck his tongue out, a fluttering in his chest waking up.

"How does it feel to be a senior?"

"I want to be graduated." Sehun sighs, looking at his Junmyeonnie who's eyes were small shining crescents meaning he was smiling underneath the mask.

"It's close."

Junmyeonnie got up from the chair and reached for the bunny on his dresser.

"For some reason I thought you threw it away."

"She was my best friend before you, I'd never do that to her." Sehun joked, putting his arms behind his head and using them as a pillow.

He stared at the bunny as if he was reminiscing when life was simpler, _"you grew up so much."_

"I'd hope so or else you'd be a pedophile."

Junmyeonnie squinted his eyes at the younger, but smiled when he heard the laughter he hadn't heard in a while. The video calls just hadn't been the same; connection would sometimes cut, he'd have to work through his breaks. It wasn't ideal, but they made the most of the resources they had.

"Spending the night?" Sehun asked, seeing as Junmyeonnie wasn't making to leave, in fact he had made himself on the bay window.

"I'm off tomorrow."

Sehun hummed, slowly drifting off to sleep but would force himself to stay awake because Junmyeonnie's back!

"Go to sleep, I'll be here in the morning." Was the last words Sehun heard before falling asleep.

Sehun opened his eyes to the sound of his alarm, reaching his arm and shutting it off with a groan. Moving his other arm to cover his eyes from the rising sun.

"Get up, you're going to to be late." Junmyeonnie spoke, pulling Sehun into a sitting position.

"What if I wanna be late?"

"Breakfast is on the table, here's a towel." Junmyeonnie threw it into his lap along with a change of clothes, "First day. First impression."

"I don't dress to impress." Sehun got up from the bed, walking towards the hallway bathroom.

"Should've woken up earlier."

Rushing down the stairs in fresh clothes, steam from the shower trailing behind him and fading just as quickly. One shoe in his hand, the other loosely on his foot the laces not tied, and toothbrush in his mouth.

Baekhyun threw him his backpack that was empty except for a handheld planner and two journals. Chanyeol throws his parents car keys from across the room, which Sehun catches with his free hand. His mother hands him a cup filled with water, that he uses to gargle before spitting into the sink. His dad handing him a plate with toast with two pieces of bacon that he folds into something that resembles a half sandwich. Running towards the front door that Junmyeonnie opens for him, and he does something on pure instinct.

His mind was haywire, only having ten minutes to make it to his first period; he may have fallen asleep in the shower, sue him. As he made it to the door, he bent down and kissed the elder on the cheek. Long strides to his father's car: one shoe, half a bacon sandwich, and wet hair. Starting the engine, he started backing out of the driveway and waved goodbye one last time before taking off down the street.

Junmyeon put his hand on his cheek, eyes wide in the realization of what his best friend had just done. Feeling eyes on him, he turned and was met with a smiling family.

"Um..."

"He just couldn't wait, could he." Baekhyun laughed, walking to the couch and spreading across it.

He looked back at the now empty driveway, his heart didn't pound out of his chest. But, a warmth spread across his cheeks and it burned where his lips had been.

Sehun picked up his schedule from the office, rushing to class and made it with a minute to spare before he realized his actions. He kissed Junmyeonnie... he _kissed_ him! His face turned a bright red, groaning silently at the mistake. His phone buzzed, looking down it had been from Baekhyun;

_**Today**_ _9:29_

He's swooning!

It just slipped out!

You missed his lips.

He's never going to live it down, at least until everyone forgets about it.

Another buzz.

He looked down at the name, there was none but, he recognized the number. Jongin?

_**Today**_ _ 9:32_

YOU KISSED HIM?

Finally.

Yeah, this subject wouldn't pass for a long time. In all honesty, he hopes it doesn't because he's walking the line of friendship like Junmyeonnie is telling him. At least he can get his feelings across without being direct... that's as directly indirect you can get.


	11. finally.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I love you.”  
“I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it’s the end guys. :((

_ **“I love you.”** _

_ **”I know.”** _

Sehun's alarm went off at 00:01, jolting out of his bed like his life depended on it. _April 12th_ couldn't have come sooner, the months passing in a blurb of studying and applying for internships. His weekends consisted of Junmyeonnie, him, and the stars for they would talk about the future they wanted. Words left unsaid, that they wanted each other in the life they fantasize about.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun had gotten married back in December, still living with them. Baekhyun didn't have the heart to leave, spending most of his life in this here cul-de-sac and finding the drive to continue building their family here. Plus, Baekhyun wanted to be there when Sehun finally had the chance to say three words he had been wanting say since he discovered his feelings.

Sehun stared at his ceiling, he was finally old enough. He could be taken seriously without being asked twice, being given strange looks when you reject the confession from others saying you already have someone. The relief that the someone he wanted had actually waited for him.

He got out of bed, sneaking into the bathroom trying not to wake the sleeping couple in the next door down. Brushing his teeth in the dark, not sure if he spat in the sink or the faucet but does that really matter? His brother pees in the dark and misses half the time, this is nothing. Splashing cold water on his face, his eyes adjusted to the dark and he saw his silhouette in the mirror.

The people that say turning from seventeen to eighteen is no different, they were lying. He had something waiting for him, and he had been unable to reciprocate. Walking out of the restroom, he went out the front door and made his way across the street, not bothering to put on shoes.

He wasn't nervous anymore, having to hope that the door was unlocked. He wasn't that person anymore, Junmyeonnie hadn't given up on him, finding understanding in his situation. He was young and stupid, still is if you ask Baekhyun. But, Junmyeonnie didn't get to experience rebellion having been the eldest, he took pride in having been the role model. The one who cried the most when each kid from the neighborhood respectively left, all except for the Byun-Oh residence.

Turning the knob, he quietly made his way up the stairs to Junmyeonnie's room. Knowing the layout of the house by heart, he could do it with his eyes closed if given the opportunity. Smiling, seeing the door opened halfway knowing Junmyeonnie hated not being able to hear the air conditioner switch on and off, it was loud and helped him sleep.

Walking in, he saw the elder fast asleep on one side of the bed. He had grown up with Sehun sleeping over every night, they'd share a bed and they still did at times when Sehun was too lazy to walk sixty feet and fifteen steps. It was a habit the elder adapted to, which gave Sehun an opportunity to slip into the bed with him. Turning himself where he's facing Junmyeonnie, bringing the covers that had fallen halfway off his body and bringing it back up.

Sehun closed his eyes, a burning sensation being brought relief from having them open for too long. They remained closed when an arm brought him closer, and a low mumble of, "happy birthday..."

"I'm eighteen."

He was met with silence, but a delayed hum signifies Junmyeonnie was listening.

"I'm going to tell you."

"I believe you."

Sehun wraps his arm around Junmyeonnie loosely, giving each other breathing room. Scooting closer, but at a reasonable distance for comfort and both of them were met with sleep once again. It was the right time, right people might not be the right moment, but it would happen soon. They could feel it, and they were content.

The bright light shining in through the window is what caused Sehun to wake up, his lips dry and cracked from the breeze of the air condition coming in through the vent. Opening his eyes, he smiles at the sight of his Junmyeonnie; eyes fluttering open and shutting again, small almost non existent snores escaping his lips, his hair all over the place. He looked at peace, something he managed to do no matter the circumstances.

Moving his hair out of his face, Junmyeonnie's eyes adjusted to the light and rolled over, groaning and covering his face.

"How do you even get up for work if you're like this?" Sehun asked, slightly amused at the childish antics that Junmyeonnie just portrayed that he never seemed to grow out of throughout all these years.

"Alarms four hours before my shift." His voice slightly muffled from the covers and deeper from having just woken up.

The silence that blanketed the room was comfortable, the only noise was Junmyeonnie breathing out of his mouth because his nose was stopped up from the allergies. Sehun's legs moving across the cold sheets trying to find the warm spot. Also, the air conditioning blowing giving the best background noise to sleep to if it's what you grew up with.

"I love you."

Junmyeonnie removed the blanket from his face, looking at him in such a way that it made Sehun feel naked. The elder was studying Sehun's features, before his eyes shined and crinkled, turning into the small crescents that Sehun could stare at for the rest of his life, before his lips upturned into the brightest smile.

"I know."

Junmyeonnie reaches out with one hand, caressing the side of Sehun's cheek with such a fondness and adoration, it couldn't be mistaken for anything else. He uses his elbow to prop himself up, before continuing, "I love you too."

Sehun doesn't know why, but he felt like crying. Just like he did when he was a kid, being pushed aside or forgotten by everyone except Junmyeonnie. But, not in the same way... this wouldn't have been a cry of frustration or anger. No. It would've been a cry of happiness or relief, because finally. Finally!

"Thank you for waiting." Junmyeonnie whispers, not wanting to ruin the moment and cause Sehun to blush and hide, like he knows he would.

"Thank you for believing in me." Sehun's vision blurred slightly from tears threatening to fall, but he was stubborn and refused to allow it.

"I didn't do anything." Junmyeonnie lightly laughed, his own eyes turning glossy.

"You saved me. You included me. You loved me." Sehun moved one of his hands to touch the keep the hand Junmyeonnie still had on his cheek in place, "You did everything."

"I was your best friend." Junmyeonnie whispered.

"What are you now?" Sehun wanted to be bold, here they were. Not getting any younger, life was continuing and they were in Junmyeonnie's bed in the cul-de-sac they grew up in, the neighborhood they met each other in.

"Whatever you want me to be."

"Junmyeonnie, what do you want?"

He had clearly never been asked this question before, always caring for others. Being the role model his parents and the neighborhood adults wanted him to be, to which he obliged. The only kid in the neighborhood who didn't want to leave anyone behind. Sure, back then he didn't want to go to college but he _did_ want to move out;

But, Jongdae needed help with reference letters, so he helped. Kyungsoo needed reassurance that he wasn't stuck here forever, he encouraged from the sidelines. Jongin needed a tutor, he stayed up late studying subjects he never took. Baekhyun needed a babysitter, he would volunteer because Sehun was his. But, most importantly, Sehun needed him, so he stayed.

"I want to be yours."

Sehun smiled, thumb leaving light strokes on the back of Junmyeonnie's hand.

"You've always been mine."

Sehun might’ve been the first one to plant a kiss on Junmyeonnie all those months, but he wasn’t the one to initiate this one.

Junmyeonnie presses a small peck on his lips, pulling back slowly. Sure, it hadn’t been ideal; chapped lips, possible morning breath, stuffed noses and morning voices. Sure, it wasn’t what society considered a _real_ kiss, but neither one was ready and they had always been about right times and moments. But, that doesn’t mean it didn’t convey what they had wanted from the beginning, since Junmyeonnie revealed his feelings and made Sehun wait.

This neighborhood had been their world, waiting and knowing. But, now they can take on a new world together. They had confirmation that they wouldn’t be alone, that small innocent kids portrayed what was in store.

_“I love you.”_ Junmyeonnie whispered.

_“I know.”_ Sehun smiled brightly, both refusing to turn away from each other’s gazes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> would u be interested a story through the same time slot, but following one of the others story?
> 
> Jongdae, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, or Jongin?
> 
> Let me know!!
> 
> :)


End file.
